I have a little chit chat about my future confusion with Kathy Noto via blog comments. And this one time i babbled about everything i feel in one of my comments at her blog. When i was writing, i totally got lost in it and when i clicked 'publish' it turned out to be a very long comment, lol. So i decided to post it here.
I've talked to my parents months ago and they finally accept my decision for not being a
doctor. i will graduate in about 2 months if my thesis finishes in time.
i'll become bachelor of medicine, not doctor. so i refuse to become an
intern in the hospital, and refuse the chance of me being a doctor.
know my parents understand what i'm feeling now, but i know deep down
they want me to be a doctor. at least i have something i can count on
when my business fails, which i really hope it won't. you see, my father
is a high achiever in life. he works his ass off his whole life. he
received full scholarship back when he was still in university. he's a
very dedicating man, and he finishes what he have started. i know he
want me to be like him, to have a well respected profession, to have a
stable life. but honestly, i'm not a high achiever, and i know i'm a
quitter. because everytime things get rough, i just simply quit. but i
feel this is an important life decision, and i can't just follow my gut
to quit and follow my passion.
i know my passion will not ever be dead,
and i know i will not quit this time because i've been through a lot in
this business and i'm still standing tall. but there's this little doubt
in my head. it keeps telling me that one day i'll finally quit this
too, because that's what i normally do. and future frightens me, what
will happen after i reach my goals. i know if business is what i choose
then, then my life will never be stable.
being a doctor it's quite
promising, but it's really hard to be a doctor these days. so many new
regulations and it's so hard to get into specialization school. if
you're only a general doctor, it's nothing, really. there's so many of
those who want to be a doctor, but can't because of the competition is
inevitable these days. and i'm not one of those who want to be doctors
so badly. so i refuse to work hard to get there, because that's not what
i will do anything for my passion, that i know. but the
business world is scary too. i really wish time machine is real, so i could see what's my future like :(
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