Tuesday, November 6, 2012


A wise man once told me, if you make your hobby as your career, imagine how fulfilled your life would be. I, he said, make my passion as my money maker, although sometimes it feels hard, but the burden is worth it. Because even for the pain, I enjoy every bits of it.

As a little kid, I remember how i loved to play dress up. The object could be anything. It could be my Barbie collections, my teddy bear, or even myself would do. As I grew older, my lovely mom taught me how to sew. I began to make some DIY teddy's clothes, bows, pants, anything really. I was amazed by fancy clothes and I wished to be a fashion designer. But nobody takes a child's dream so seriously and think this is just a phase and it shall pass.

When I was in junior high school, I discovered my passion in cooking. I thought it would be great if I have a career in culinary. I began to practice my cooking in my every spare time. I even searched for scholarship programs in Germany and Swiss. That time i really thought I would be a chef and my parents had full support on that dream.

Then I got into a well-known high school in my city, it's so popular because of the advance educational program they have. My sister is also currently studying in this school, so that's why she complains about her being so busy a lot. Getting in to their science program was hard, but finally i got in and it changed my culinary dreams to the every last piece of it. I just thought why should i study hard but in the end I'm taking something so not science related? So in that very moment, I felt like I was flying without any direction, no dreams to catch, no goals to be achieved.

As the time rolled on, I found myself enjoy studying biology very much, especially the human body. And I started to watch Grey's Anatomy. My biology teacher even told my father, I should get into med school. So I did. But not so smoothly.

It was a struggle. I was not sure if being a doctor is the right path for me. In that moment I discovered I still want to be a fashion designer, just like when I was still a little girl. My father disapproved because he thought I won't make a living out of it. It's a dead end.

So I took a test. Personality, IQ, EQ, skills and everything else. Do you understand what test I'm talking about? Yes, that test. I remember how my heart couldn't stop beating fast the day I went to get my result. You see, during the test, I told the interviewer that I'd like to have a career in fashion and I tried hard to show my creative side way more than my logical side of brain. When I read the result, it was like my heart just stopped. It was written there that I'd be perfect to be a surgeon, dentist, and psychiatrist. All of those are medical related.

So I decided maybe it's best for me to get into medschool after all. The first year went smoothly and I still felt maybe I'll be a doctor after all. That you don't have to pursue your dream job. That you need to just go with the only way it's supposed to be.

But the truth is, doubts are getting in the way everyday since I first enrolled. Everyday I become less sure about my chosen career. I am not loving it, for that I'm sure. I finally realized it's more than just loving biology. To be a doctor, you need to have the passion to cure people, and I honestly don't.

I'm in my last two months in my medical education. I'm really close to the end of the road. And the road is branched. On which road will I continue walking the path of life, I'm working on it right now.

Stradivarius leather jacket / Topshop floral bralette / local store jeans / forever21 necklace / Mango sling bag / Charles and Keith red belt / PICNIC leopard shoes / Guess watch / Gucci sunglasses



Carissa said...

Febii~ welcome back! Glad you decided to blog again :D

Anyway, I really do understand what you're going through. I've been in the same path as you do, and I feel just as lost as you are in my own major. But I'll keep on working toward the path I wanted to have for my future despite my so-called 'chosen' career :)


Sharmili said...

:( sorry for your confusion, hopefully you soon figure it all out :)
xx mili


JANICE G said...

nice jacket!! :) don't worry, you are still young! many ppl usualyl end up with a different career after college.

the STYLE Fringe BLOG

LEIGH said...

Love the cropped top! That floral print is fantastic!

goodbadandfab said...

Looking fab! <3 <3

personal style and fashion musings of a LA fashion lawyer living life in the fab lane!
twitter: goodbadandfab
instagram: goodbadandfab
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Arisa Mameda said...

Thank you for folloing me! Now I'm followiing you! xD

Well... said...

Aww man, I know exactly what you're going through! I'm struggling trying to find out what I should do with my life. -_-
Hopefully we can both figure it out.
Anyway, on a lighter note, LOVE this awesome outfit! That jacket is so cool :)

Trendy Teal

Novarinna Tan said...

what a lovely top.. love it <33
you look so pretty <333

Calita Hin said...

yes i wonder if i can make my hobby as my career.. must be so happy! i hope you will get the best! love this look btw! :)

Les Deux Rombos said...

Don´t worry about your future now, you are still able to rewrite it and catch your dreams.

Your outfit is amazing, we love it!

Kisses from Spain!


JAL. said...

hope you'll find a best path, cici :D

Putri Valentina said...

Nice top and bag :D


Itchy Edgy said...

I've had the same. Just follow your heart. And the important thing is.. What makes your happy? Challenge yourself to try things out. Don't worry about it girl. You'll figure it out one day.
Love Love Love your outfit! You look amazing! Xx


sleepandwater said...

It's not too late to chart a different course - it's better late than never. But at the same time, don't second guess your ability or your capacity to grow. Passion is hard to fabricate - but it also needs to be nurtured and it can be developed. It can change with time and circumstance. So long as you are on a steady path to self-development, you can't go wrong :)

Rosalinda Tjioe said...

Good luck with the finals and your choice of path, wishing all the best! Anyway you look stunning here, loving the combination of edgy leather jacket and sweet bralette! xx


Wynne Prasetyo said...

you look beautiful! you rocked the look. oh i have a lot of friends who are experiencing the same issues.they're majoring in law right now but really passionate in fashion and other stuffs. i hope you figure it out soon!

JOIN NOW! International Giveaway of "100 Years of Fashion" Book

rimatambunan said...

hey thanks for the comment ;) immediately fall in love with your blog. mind to follow each other?

bonnie_blog said...

Amazing top!!! Lovely look, awesome post, dear!




Gray Cat said...

super cute!!!

with love

Gray Caticiaorm43

Katie Frank said...

i already follow you, sweetie:)

ELISA said...

Super cool!

Jules yllw said...

thank you :))
I love your outfit !
x Jules

Gita Andreina Ang said...

It's always tough, everytime we're in deep thought about future.
I have this friend of mine, whose crazy genius in drawing slash design. I encouraged her to take visual communication design or something related to fashion since she loves fashion, but her parents never let her. So in the end, she took management major and graduated.
But after she graduated, she actually becoming fashion buyer!
you know, sometimes we never know where life gonna lead us too.
my point is, if you're really passionate about something, life will always lead you to that thing :)
i believe learning medical is also God's plan for you, but world always needs fashionable doctor rite? :D

Anyway, loveee your top!! <3
and sorry for long post ._.


- ME - Fashion Blog said...

Hey dear I can feel you...same here I am in my last months of university getting more and more scared of the future...the only thing that cheers me up at the moment is my blog! :)
Wanna follow each other?

Pauline Lim said...

that jacket has just the perfect drape. thanks so much for the comment and great style! followed:)

xx pauline

♥ Natalie said...

I completely understand what you mean. It's always hard to find the right thing for yourself... I hope you feel better soon!
I love your outfit, looks cute!


Jodie said...

thank you so much for the kind commen ton my blog- you look beautiful
i feel exactly the same way as you- just as lost...
for me its nursing- i have had hundreds of problmes with my univeristy (theyre awful and basically lost a year long project of mine) and Im at the point where ive taken time off to choose do I go back and cmplete my course? or do i goo elsewhere in life? how are you menat to choose? how am i meant to let eveyone down?
can i not just do a dead end job and live for the weekend and my hobbys instead of haveing a career?

Pati//LIVE TO DO said...

I love your style and blog <3
Maybe you want to follow eatch other? Let me know :)
kiss :*


cute with the jacket on :)

may you visit my blog, there is ongoing Giveaway if you interested ;)

Herdiana Surachman

Anonymous said...

Great sense of style!


Maureen W. said...

Wooow! *0* really gorgeous outfit!! I love what you're wearing!!! :) xx


Adeline Yang said...

well...all i can say is follow what your heart says. and it seems to me that you love fashion more than med school, that's quite obvious isn't it?
try to talk with your dad, maybe? because in the end, after you study years and years of med school (IF you finally take that path), are you willing to be a doctor? or are you just going to work in another career?
it might be hard to convince your dad, but if you really want it, he'll see it eventually and you might do fashion in the end...no? just a thought from me :) hope that helps.

Mira said...

You should follow your heart and hopefully everything will turn out right. You do look awesome <3


Amy Fashion Blog said...

great leather coat

circleofchaos said...

Wonderful outfit.:-)
Thanks,for your lovely
comment on my blog.
Maybe follow each other???

João Elias said...

hey! nice blog, im following now!
Please follow me back :)


Tosya said...

Hello. I like this style and outfit. U r cute! Can we follow each other? http://antonboldirev.blogspot.ru/

invisiblefashion said...

Hello Dear! I like your blog so much! Would you like to follow each other? :)

Theresa said...

Gorgeous outfit!!!
and I completely understand. I'm just starting out on this path and I have no idea what's in store for me in the future. But I do wish you all the best!


CoastWithMe said...

Best of luck to you girl in whatever it is you choose! I'm in the same boat. It's so hard deciding what you're going to do for the rest of your life! Everything will fall into place! I promise:)! I'm following you now on GFC! Check out my blog if you'd like! Thanks:)!

Rita @ www.CoastWithMe.com

Ollyvia Laura Arnold said...

nice outfit


rimatambunan said...

followed ;)

kaya elaine said...

It's true about your dreams. As long as your passionate you'll figure it out. All the best

Bernadeth G. said...

Such a gorgeous outfit! Love how you put it together :)

Visit my blog? xx Miss Beatrix (http://missbeatrix.blogspot.com)

winda octavia said...

wow.. you really stylish and cool !
i love this summery whole look =D

btw, are you indonesian?

visit my fashion blog sometimes..
there's giveaway open internationally for now !


Tosya said...

hey) i'm u 344 follower) thank u

Gemnikka Alcantara said...

Love the corset soooo much!! <3 You look so gorge! :)


Olga said...

You will figure it out girl! There are always times in ones' life where you have to make some important decisions...so take your time and think about what and who you want to be.

Nice blog by the way :).

Following each other would be great!

Please check out my blog and my new shop.




Gilbert Ganda said...

OMG I totally feel you right now!
I am in my last few months of my foundation studies before I decided to either go for architecture or fashion design!
although I am doing well that I could go to any course of my choice, but all my lecturers have been suggesting me to go for fashion while my parents don't even agree with that idea.
Then I did take that IQ and EQ test as well and guess what, it actually suggested that I could do so many different kind of occupation from lawyer, dentist to architect! So I am so clueless on what I wanted to dive into! I mean I don't want ended up doing something I hate!
OMG seems like we are on the same boat!


Nothing obliges said...

cute photos, now following :) Hope you'll stop by and follow.
xoxo Ryta

♏αяᴄвєℓℓє cнaйєℓёйє ᵀᴴᴱ ᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ said...

Hello !! I am your newest follower /

Appreciate if U can FOLLOW me back :)

Very pretty and classy, love the look :)
I follow you now ! Wanna be your friend!
Follow me back on facebook ,twitter,and GFC and add me as a friend in GFC
love you dear :)

MarcBelle Chanelene

The Daydreamer said...

I think I understand what you're feeling too. my dad wants me to work in bank or something like that but I don't feel like that's where I belong. my passion is not there but in fashion styling so,let's not give up in catching our dreams and do our best! good luck to you! <3

Kelly Ann said...

I love your jacket and your shoes!

Sparkles and Shoes

Caitie Schlisserman said...

love this outfit - especially those shorts! Also your writing.. couldn't agree more :)


Feenkuss said...

I'm really in love with your jacket <3

Lovely greetz from germany

Ina :*

Lida Vinnikova said...

brilliant look!and you're such a beautiful girl!)

Love your blog! Hope you'll love mine and follow me! <3

circleofchaos said...

Thanks,for the follow.^^
Follow you back on gfc.

GeorginaGoodman said...

totally love this look


Chloë said...

Lovely outfit!

Elsha Bodily said...

Great advise and GREAT outfit! Love this and following you now, you seem to be full of lots of inspiration :)

WestmountFashionista said...

Great look, I love the loafers!

mademoiselle mode said...

I love all !!
Glasses, short, shoes, top !!
OMG the best ootfit !

New post - Kisses ♥

- ME - Fashion Blog said...

following now dear!

Instant Milk said...

This outfit is lovely! I am your newest follower, thanks for coming by and hope you follow back! Stay in touch! xx

circleofchaos said...

Sure,follow you.^^
My name on gfc is
Vanessa Billie-Jill-Jean.
Can you see me now???:-)

Sakuranko said...

Really wonderful outfit sweetie! really cute top!


Ellie said...

This is such a perfect outfit. Loving the shorts--and your hair is perfect by the way.


erica marie said...

It's so hard to make the decision on what we should we be going to school for. my major has changed a few times. I started out with wanting to be a pediatric nurse and after studying it just realized I had no passion for it. I was actually studying fashion design recently but had to stop because I just couldn't afford school anymore. Hope everything works out for you in the end. Love your bustier top, new follower here. Hope you'll stop by my blog soon and follow if you like.

xo erica

♏αяᴄвєℓℓє cнaйєℓёйє ᵀᴴᴱ ᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ said...

Yes I have followed u second page ! Second row second picture

pls followed me back on GFC


Mary said...

Love your outfit!
I really like this post! I can't wait to see what you do next!
Come check out my blog, maybe we can follow each other:)
Have a great week!
Fashion tea at 5

Crystal Dots said...

I like that you blog from the heart, entries like these remind me of Xanga (if you know what I mean haha).

Take care! And love your photos.

crystal dots. facebook

♏αяᴄвєℓℓє cнaйєℓёйє ᵀᴴᴱ ᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ said...

Thanks for the comment

I still don't see your follows and follow me on Instagram


Allison said...

Great outfit! Love your shorts!
And thanks so much for stopping by my blog--I really hope that we can keep in touch!!
P.S. Don't forget to enter my Fossil Vintage Revival Bag Giveaway! :)

A's Fashion Files
Shop Kawaii Kitsch by A on Etsy!

jamie-lee said...

It sounds like you have gone to a lot of effort to try and pursue a career that you will be good at and enjoy. Sure you will have doubts, but you are young and you can always change your career path in the future. If it's meant to be you will get there eventually! x

Akiko said...

Such a lovely look and love your jacket and bag! Oh and the leopard shoes.. So everything :) THanks for your comment and following, I'm happy to follow you back. Keep in touch! xo akiko
Style Imported

Kdotorg said...

Very inspirational words. Loving this outfit!
I adore your blog, would you like to follow each other?

Olga said...

You have to lik the bloglovin button and than the follow one...to follow me..let me know if you do and I'll follow back..




JAL. said...

Hey, ci. thanks a lot for your advice, really means a lot to me :) Hope we will find the best way REALLY SOON :D


Cool outfit, love the shorts!


winda octavia said...

ahahaha.. i dont know..
i'm just not so sure about how Indonesian you are =p

nice to know you, dear =)
hope we can be friend as a fashion lover !
btw, which part of Indonesia do you live? Jakarta too?? =D


lovee..need..desire.. said...

The brown accent looks fabulous on you!! stunning look xx

Emily Meyers said...

Hey lovely! I just found your cute blog and gladly added myself to your followers! I’d love to have you stop by and see a holiday hairstyle series I’m doing right now, and also I’ll leave the link to a $150 e.l.f. cosmetics Giveaway I’m having in case you’re interested:)

Hope to see you there, and thanks so much lady!
Xo, Emily

Huge e.l.f. Giveaway!

Delia Salsabila said...

Love the flat shoes xx


Spiky Little Sweet said...

I love this top! You look great!