TIME MACHINE

I have a little chit chat about my future confusion with Kathy Noto via blog comments. And this one time i babbled about everything i feel in one of my comments at her blog. When i was writing, i totally got lost in it and when i clicked 'publish' it turned out to be a very long comment, lol. So i decided to post it here.

I've talked to my parents months ago and they finally accept my decision for not being a doctor. i will graduate in about 2 months if my thesis finishes in time. i'll become bachelor of medicine, not doctor. so i refuse to become an intern in the hospital, and refuse the chance of me being a doctor.

i know my parents understand what i'm feeling now, but i know deep down they want me to be a doctor. at least i have something i can count on when my business fails, which i really hope it won't. you see, my father is a high achiever in life. he works his ass off his whole life. he received full scholarship back when he was still in university. he's a very dedicating man, and he finishes what he have started. i know he want me to be like him, to have a well respected profession, to have a stable life. but honestly, i'm not a high achiever, and i know i'm a quitter. because everytime things get rough, i just simply quit. but i feel this is an important life decision, and i can't just follow my gut to quit and follow my passion.

i know my passion will not ever be dead, and i know i will not quit this time because i've been through a lot in this business and i'm still standing tall. but there's this little doubt in my head. it keeps telling me that one day i'll finally quit this too, because that's what i normally do. and future frightens me, what will happen after i reach my goals. i know if business is what i choose then, then my life will never be stable.

being a doctor it's quite promising, but it's really hard to be a doctor these days. so many new regulations and it's so hard to get into specialization school. if you're only a general doctor, it's nothing, really. there's so many of those who want to be a doctor, but can't because of the competition is inevitable these days. and i'm not one of those who want to be doctors so badly. so i refuse to work hard to get there, because that's not what i want.

i will do anything for my passion, that i know. but the business world is scary too. i really wish time machine is real, so i could see what's my future like :(

 
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